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Brave You Are


You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.

Ernest Hemingway

Feature Image Photo by Josh Hemsley

Five am cold, dark, and rainy outside. Thursday is the three-week chemo treatment day, and we prepare for the drive to the hospital. Two sleepyheads are fumbling around in the room, a queue for the loo, trouble for those that linger. Make the bed, lay out clothes, queue for a shower—a bowl of cereal for breakfast, dress and ready to roll. Week eighteen, last of the chemo’s, it’s been a rough ride.

Next is the blocker treatment, probably for life. How will the after-treatment effects of this be?

You suffered like no human should be asked to suffer, left wondering if it was all worth the pain, loss of taste, hair shaved off, ulcerated mouth, to name a few.

I recall that day at the hospital, some months ago when you were told by the medical professional that you had second-stage cancer in your breast, lymph glands (and later lungs too.) A mastectomy was almost inevitable. Even with her reassuring words, full recovery was possible with modern and progressive technology; did you, just for a second, wonder how long you had left on this earth?

But you responded with a strong voice, brave and determined, even though inside you were suffering. It was me who was shattered to a place of tears – my only relief.

Blocker treatment, three done, with each three weeks more to come, no end in sight. Complications set in from the womb; is it spreading? No, we state with strong affirmation! Yet you take it in your stride; medical professionals are amazed at your resilience. How you still have such a fantastic sense of humor, laughing often.

Even after all the treatment, you are as brave as ever, but I know you suffer silently; forgive me for the times I forget this…

If you feel this article has value, please send this link to others. Writings are meant for people, not for dormant files in our computers. Often, when we share them, it results in positive changes in the lives of individuals and communities.

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It’s such an amazing miracle; what happened to me last Friday & Saturday, 15th & 16th March. On Friday night (15th March) during a Holy Spirit Impact session at our church I just started crying deeply, and cried and cried; so much so, that my clothes were all wet! So much water streaming out from everywhere in my face, just from deep inside. During that whole night I just wept so much! On Saturday morning it was like a lion roaring inside me… and this pain, tears, everything that was bottled up just came rushing forward like a volcano erupting. Later that day I realized the big lump that I had in my throat was gone, the pain in my shoulder bone from the thyroid swelling was gone!

Ronelle Goiter
Ronelle Goiter March 11 2019

On Monday the 11th, prior to this healing happening, I went to Radiology in Paarl. No cancer, just many nodules on my thyroid. My doctor said there’s no liquid in it, so it can’t be drained, it’s gotta be surgically removed. He then did a blood test and said on Friday 15th that my thyroid’s count is normal, not high and not low, so no medication. It has to be cut out.

Ronelle Healed March 16 2019

Well, on Saturday the 16th I was healed! So much pent up pain and emotions inside me caused my thyroid to grow and grow and grow, it caused a major lump in my throat and my neck to swell badly, like you can see on the photo taken on the morning of the 11th March.
It was like a very tight belt around my neck, being released. My thyroid would cause me to choke as it was swollen and painful inside at the back of it and all round, causing my neck to swell and pain into my collar bone.
This week on my holiday I went snorkeling with seals, I did lots of things, solo camping in my tent, hiking on Table Mountain, and the pain never came back again. The swelling is gone, no longer necessary to be operated on! YAY!   
All the pent up emotions way back from 2004 when I lost my womb…. Hopes dashed of ever having children….Since then I’ve been suppressing emotions; even during and after my Robin’s sickness & death last year. 

People keep the emotions bottled up… As the adage goes: Cowboys don’t cry. But the body gets sick from all the pent up emotions. Then its like a volcano erupting… Pressure building up. We should ask our Heavenly Father to help us release the toxins, the built-up emotions in our bodies… So our body can purify and heal itself from within. 

Last week I went back to my doctor and he was so touched with the remarkable recovery that he got all teary eyed. He said when I saw him in December 2014 about my thyroid it was bigger that it is now! It was dormant all these years until 2018.

So, it is SUCH an amazing awesome miracle that happened! Hallelujah! All PRAISE to You, AbaH! 

(First photo, in blue, taken on the morning of the 11th, just before radiology test and second one (in white & red) taken on the night of the 16th, after all the release)


Published with the permission of Ronelle, for your encouragement.





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The Long Haul

Almost casually, my Son mentioned to me that he was flying down to Cape Town from Johannesburg to ferry a pick-up truck and drive it to his home in Johannesburg.

Typically, alarm bells went off in my mind. I expressed my concern about him attempting a journey like this on his own. A journey, in this case, which would beMap_of_the_N1_(South_Africa)_with_labels.svg traveled mostly at night. The N1 Arterial carries 300,000 vehicles per day and is the second longest road in South Africa, some 1900 kms (1200 miles).

Without giving it thought, I offered to assist with the driving; After a couple of weeks my Son accepted the offer and bought me an airline ticket to Cape Town.

The airline brought me to Cape Town at 11.30 am on a Friday and by 1pm, my Son and I were on the road to Johannesburg!

After the death of my eldest Son to a long-suffering, rare cancer, it was good to spend time with my remaining Boy, however taxing, the drive.

In short, we drove 1400kms (870Mi) in the space of 13 hours, only 4 of those in daylight. Our only stops were for fuel and for take out coffees and toasted sandwiches. I drank 8 cups of coffee along the journey (ordinarily I drink only one cup in the same Engen Wimpytime frame at home, so my eyes were wide open continually)! I don’t drive at night in the normal course of events, when I’m home, primarily because I am partially blinded by oncoming headlights. But I knew many family members and friends were praying for us as we drove though the dark.

A few years back, I would have considered the trip a nightmare, but this time, I loved every minute. We chatted and laughed a great deal. All the while the South bound traffic was passing us at approximately 120 vehicles per hour consistently, 90 % of which were heavy goods vehicles, to say nothing of the slow-moving vehicles moving Northbound (ahead of us). Finally, we arrived home at 3.30am Sunday morning.

We live in a time where much of the population complains, even violently, about the economic, political and poor governance of our country. Among the many complaints is that of the condition of our roads and behavior of lawless drivers – the list is endless.

In closing let me say that every day I extend my gratitude for everything in my life and that includes the roads and other drivers.

On this trip, I would like to say thank you to our Roads Agency for the excellent road surface on the 1400 kms. of the N1. The clear reflective markings on the road, which made driving a lot safer in what was a very dangerous driving condition. The provision of splits in the road that allowed for the overtaking of slower vehicles.

Thank you to the truckers, who do not have an easy or safe livelihood, for their amazing courtesy (headlamp control, moving over where possible).Truckers

Unless it was in the case of great importance, as this journey was, I should not like to do that journey again and I am so grateful to our airline pilots and crew who make flying in our country, safe and comfortable. The airline companies, through their initiative, making flying affordable, enabling me to continue using their services in the future.

“For those who choose to be grateful for that which they have, great is the reward of what will come to them in the future”.

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 If you feel this article has value, please send this link to others, Writings are meant for people, not for dormant files in our computers and very often when we share them, it results in positive changes in the lives of individuals and communities.

If you are spiritually inclined see my other site;

Please feel free to send in questions (see ‘Contact’) and comments (hit ‘Comments’







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Sylvia Rose’s Story – Chapter Eleven

I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me.

I promised that my next article would be about the “things my father taught me”

But recently I had a life changing experience, which I would like to share with you today. The title of this article is from a Randy Crawford song… Which resonates with me currently.

Continue reading Sylvia Rose’s Story – Chapter Eleven

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The Right to Die

The Right to Die


“I just want to die” he cried out, in a voice that was close to a howl. “Can’t you see I’m in a living hell, I want to stop but I can’t and now, it’s too late; I know that I am dying”.

She, his wife of sixteen years and two children, a son and a daughter, was caught in a web of nursing this man for the last two years. She was wife, mother, nurse and sole provider for this little household.

In Rolf’s case, he was a chronic alcoholic, who spent most of his time in partial or extreme drunkenness. He smoked sixty cigarettes every day and did not want to eat properly, in spite of his wife’s trying to coax him to do so.

For two years Rolf had not had proper employment and what little money he did earn, a large portion was spent on alcohol and cigarettes. During the short periods of his sobriety he was a quiet and gentle man. The moment he began consuming alcohol, he transformed into an abusive demon. He verbally abused his wife and children and although he was never physically violent, he constantly shouted and threatened violence.

Brigitte was a softly spoken woman, who booked no nonsense, but at the same time she was deeply compassionate toward the man that she had loved and had been happily married to for fourteen years. She had a good job and was very protective toward her children. Her sober nature and protectiveness towards her children saved them from what could have been brutal treatment from their father.

After a visit to the hospital, because Rolf was now coughing severely, struggling to breathe and in great pain; he was diagnosed with a rare form of slow growing cancer.

The doctor said that his condition was terminal and although death was not imminent, suffering was however going to intensify.

With the combination of morphine, alcohol and cigarettes, Rolf had very little sleep and was in constant pain that intensified with each day.

He eventually begged Brigitte to help him to die. He said that he could no longer bear the pain and the inability to sleep. He asked her to speak to the doctor to help him to die.

The next visit to the hospital she asked the doctor if there was anything that could be done to end this terrible suffering. The doctor gently explained the laws controlling medical practice in these cases and the fact that even if it should one day be permissible to allow people to have their lives taken, it was not something in the foreseeable future.

Rolf lived for another six months in the most excruciating pain and finally succumbed to a massive heart attack and died.

He left a wife bereft and initially caught in between the emotions of relief and grief. He left two children, confused, angry and afraid for their future.

His wife was also angry at the fact that their precious savings had been depleted by medical and the wasted costs for cigarettes and alcohol over several years. Not to mention funeral expenses.

To add fuel to this fire was the fact that there was no insurance to cover any of the huge costs facing the little family.

Understanding that there are strong religious and moral beliefs, that will speak out against the ‘Right to Die’ issue and mostly these voices will come from those who have never faced anything like Brigitte and Rolf did.

The facts stare at us… it time to grant legislation in favour of those who wish to determine their own time to die?

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