Dr. Gary Chapman
Book Review of a New York Times Best Seller.
What is Love?
In his book ‘The Road Less Traveled”, M.Scott Peck differentiates between ‘love’ and being ‘in love’:
“I define love thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. Love is an act of the will – namely, both an intention and an action”. “Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is believing that ‘falling in love’ is love or at least one of the manifestations of love”. “We fall in love when we are conscientiously or unconsciously sexually motivated”.
How do we learn to understand the difference between Love and Being in Love?
Gary Chapman’s book is a sincere and very down to earth effort to help people and their spouses to see the very practical difference between loving someone and being ‘in love’.
In the first three chapters he discusses this issue fully and very clearly in a writing style that is not only, easy to read, but to understand.
What are the Five Languages of Love?
He then proceeds to list and carefully discuss the ‘Five Languages of Love’ that we will need to understand. This is done over five chapters, each chapter devoting a full explanation of the five languages. What you will discover is that love languages are not a, one-size-fits-all formula, but rather, that each person has a desired language or more than one language. It is also possible that two partners could have the same languages.
In the course of amplifying the different languages, Gary explains how these are applied from one partner to another. This he illustrates with some interesting true-to-life stories.
Discovering your Love Language
Gary now moves on to show you how to discover your particular love language and tells you about an interesting game that you can play: He calls it the ‘Love Tank’ and whilst it seems very simple (and it is of course), I understand how this game can have deep positive effects on partnership relations.
The Mysteries of Love
You have three chapters explaining some of the mysteries of love and how best to deal with these.
The Five Languages for Children
From here you take an interesting journey into the world of little children and he shows you how firstly, to discover the language of love that your child will best respond to and then how to apply this. Gary asks an important question in this section;
“Why is it that as our children grow older, our “words of affirmation” turn to words of condemnation”?
Your Assessment Quiz
Lastly, Gary takes you through a quiz. If you are uncertain of your love language, or for that matter, just want to check your assessment from the previous chapter; then the quiz is certain to give you the accurate answers.
This is a great read for any of you special souls out there, particularly if you are experiencing trouble in your partnership or family relations. If you don’t fall into this slot, you may just want to add a super tune-up to your relationship.
Either way, it works; I know – I tried it!
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